Everybody has "Culture"

Every Valentine’s Day eve, one political party in Mumbai will go all over press saying “valentine’s day is not part of Indian culture”. In a similar vein, I have heard many Indians say “Americans have a very high divorce rate. They have no culture”. So what does that mean? What is culture then? Is it like a nest where desirable Indian values lay their eggs? I think I can tell you for sure that there is no term more abused in the whole world than the term “culture”. 

Culture is a concept that shapes our values, beliefs, norms, our attitudes and the way we perceive the world around us. The fact that most Indians think Americans have no culture because of their high divorce rate is a reflection of the Indian culture – divorce is still such a taboo in our society. 

In 2005, a very famous South India actress Khushboo found herself in middle of a controversy for her remarks while promoting AIDS awareness. She said it was fine to have pre-marital sex provided people take precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. She further added that no educated man should expect his wife or girlfriend to be virgin. Two political parties lashed out at her because of her remarks and she eventually withdrew her statement following a public apology. Interestingly, India is not the only society where pre-marital sex is a taboo. It is a taboo in 96 other cultures. But what is more surprising is that 160 societies across the globe actually find it acceptable! In fact a tribe in Thailand concedes to a girl marrying guy only if he can make her pregnant because they want to make sure that the guy is “fertile”.

On 15^th September 1893, the most eloquent speaker Swami Vivekananda narrated the frog in the well story. For those who are not familiar –a frog lived in a well. He had lived there all his life. To him the well was his life. One day a frog from the sea fell into the well.

The frog in the well asked “where do you come from?”

“From the sea”

“Sea! How big is the sea? As big as my well?”

The frog from the sea burst out laughing. “you can’t compare the sea to your well. sea is the biggest!”

On hearing this, the frog from the well kicked other frog and said “ you liar! Nothing can be bigger than my well. Get out!”

This behavior can be seen in human beings as well.  It is very natural for people to think of their culture as superior.  Therefore, they believe their way is the only way! Some people in India will be shocked to know that in certain beaches of Brazil the entire family – mother, father and children enjoy swimming in nude.

It is obvious that values and beliefs vary from culture to culture. What is acceptable in one culture might be considered downright gross or vulgar in another culture. The lack of appreciation of other’s culture actually leads to stereotypes.  A lot of people from the poor countries think the entire America and Europe is rich, although poverty and hunger exists in both US and in the Europe. Many Americans still believe that Africa is a dark continent!  Most of the stereotypes stem from ignorance and lack of exposure.

One has to appreciate that every element of culture serves a very important function unique to the group in question. Therefore a cultural element cannot be judged as right or wrong or good or bad in absolute terms. In western culture, incompatibility is enough reason to file for divorce, in several African cultures, this dilemma would lead the wife to look for another wife for husband. In India illegitimate children don’t get father’s name while in Nigeria, illegitimate kid is the father’s responsibility. Every culture has its own rationale.  In western countries divorce might be rationalized on grounds that it is better to raise kids in a separate environment than in an environment full of fights. In African cultures, it is believed that everyone is happy when the entire family stays together.  

Culture, by the way, is not a closed window. It is evolving continuously. What is not acceptable today might become acceptable tomorrow. Consider widow marriage. It was unthinkable 200 years back but today nobody will blink an eyelid hearing about it. Inter-caste or inter religion marriages are also quite common. And this is the strength of culture. It interacts with other cultures and evolves with time along with society.

Therefore, appreciate that everybody has a culture and try to meet people from different societies with a more open mind. You will be surprised how richer the experiences will be for you. Like Mark Twain had said “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”  

References:
Abraham, M. Francis, An Introduction to Concepts and Theories, Oxford University Press, 2006