Side Effects of Falling ill

My father always says that when one is ill, one gets to know his / her level of popularity. As a kid I seldom got a chance to measure that. Not because I never fell ill. In fact it was just the opposite. I used to be sick all the time and perhaps that’s why nobody missed me.

Fortunately both in college and at work, I got an opportunity to taste the flavor of “popularity”. In my third year college, a month before the finals, I succumbed to German measles. The worse part of this disease is that it is highly contagious! So not only I was under house arrest but was also forbidden to meet others so as to not spread the "love".

I still remember how my phone never stopped ringing that day when a friend mine told every single person (irrespective of whether he or she knew me) that I was suffering from German measles. In fact some friends took it upon them to keep me company and I had dedicated slot of phone calls. I, obviously, thank their parents for paying the telephone bills which must have been quite a bit!

However, at work if you are missed when you fall ill, it could mean two things – your files are so badly organized that nobody can find anything important or you are that good at your work that nobody wants to touch your files fearing they may ruin it.

For the first one year the former was true for me. I use to dread falling ill, lest people find out how messy my folder is but gradually I began to realize that the popularity factor also exists in the office domain.

I remember a time when I sprained my back or when I bruised my leg at an accident. I had office colleagues taking turns to visit me, to pick me and drop me off. I remember my boss had sent across her doctor to double check on my diagnosis and a client who wanted to send me flowers.

Today, as I am nursing a ligament pull and living through kidney infection, the phone calls keep pouring in from friends I haven’t spoken for months together, from colleagues offering me their cars and enquiring about my health. 

Therefore, remember no matter how will you are and how bad your condition is, always update your facebook status to –“I am sick”, “high fever and ligament pull”, and wait to be surprised by all the calls pouring in!

When Heroes Fall!

IIT, Harvard Baker scholar and a Bengali!  Sounds like the kind of description matrimonial dreams are made of!

 A CEO convicted on 4 of 6 counts and a possibility of a jail sentence anywhere between 10 to 25 years- possibly anybody’s worst nightmare!

Interestingly both these descriptions belong to one man.  I will always remember June 2012 as the fall of a hero – the first Indian born CEO of global corporation – Rajat Gupta charged with trading insider information. 

When a hero falls, it shakes up your own foundation. This incident and many others that have occurred reminds us that it is not enough to be on the same page but we need to read the same book as well. Our GDP, purchasing power, standard of living, income etc has grown and we are finally on the same page with other countries but when it comes to our ethical standards we are not reading the same book!

During Rajat Gupta’s trial, I happen to read an interesting article titled “Rajat Gupta is not a criminal, he is just an Indian” (First Post’2012).  The title sounded very offensive to me at first, but as you read you do tend to agree with the author. The trial that Rajat Gupta faces today could have been faced by any of us and very unintentionally.

 Imagine you are thinking of applying to a company. What would be your first move? Read about the company? Learn about their products? Of course not! “Who works there?” “Do I have contacts?” That will be your first question (First Post’2012).

 Most of us mistake nepotism for networking and that’s when things can get tricky.

It is also very important to understand what information is confidential. I can bet a lot of Indians might be whispering “Rajat Gupta just gave away some information. What’s the big deal?”

It’s a very big deal because he leaked confidential information to which he had access to by the virtue of his position as the board member of Goldman and P&G.

A lady applied at a famous MNC once. She provided elaborate information on her role with her job detail and client details. She didn’t get hired there. According to the MNC, this information was unethical! They thought that if she were to ever quit their company, a lot of their company’s information will get passed on with her CV!

Ideally if you are putting in your client details, you need to take their permission. Unfortunately, most of us are so busy gaining brownie points; we don’t even realize the enormity of this issue!

In some cases, it is not about ignorance, or to get ahead in competition, it is also about bad habits. How many of you have mugged up a book / chapter for an exam?  How many of you referenced the author in the examination hall? I bet nobody. Common! If we have to reference, every line would need referencing because we rote everything! But this is known as plagiarism - an offence that can lead to expulsion of students from Universities abroad.

In 2006, everybody wanted to know “How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life!” - a book written by an American Indian high school graduate who was enrolled in Harvard and had got a two book deal worth $ 500,000. But in two weeks later and till date people want to read about “How Kaavya Viswanathan got rich, got caught, and got ruined” (Sepia Mutiny). This lady had gone on to copy 40 pages from another novel! US media went berserk covering this and till date she is referred as the “copycat” or “plagiarist”.

People in India don’t realize the momentum of this. Partly because our educational system encourages roting and killing creativity and partly because we think “who will know?” Stealing ideas is as unethical as stealing jewels or money!

Whenever I am in an auto in Mumbai, I feel very scared of the unnecessary shortcuts taken by the auto driver - unnecessarily trying to be ahead of the other vehicles by taking wrong turns or by cutting lanes. I have never seen a significant time saving with this approach but a significant chance of meeting with an accident and getting fined by the traffic police. I think we all Indian have auto driver within us. Taking unnecessary unethical short cuts has become almost the norm.

Unethical short cuts are happening everywhere. You think you have seen enough with Common wealth games and then you know there India has got talent with 2G scam. Forget cheating human beings, we have stolen fodder also. We already had match fixing in international cricket, now we have IPL. Before music directors would steal only from English songs now we don’t even spare devotional songs.

Thought taking these short cuts could helps us earn some brownie points, get a little ahead in the competition but in the long term, people find out. It comes out in the open eventually bringing the individual and the nation in the spotlight for the wrong reasons!

Raise your Right hand

A picture says a thousand words………………….. and so do print advertisements (ads). Print ad is one of the oldest forms of advertisement.  Print advertisement, like other advertisements, help to communicate the dominant ideology at given period of time effectively. Women are the most favorite “commodity” of advertisers selling almost any and every commodity. From sanitary pads to male deodorant, women feature prominently in all sorts of ads.  

Though some people argue that it is media that influences the society, others argue that media merely mirrors the society. With some experiences in ad testing, I can say that an advertisement usually reflects what people want to see / hear.

Print ads capture the evolution of women’s position in the society very well. Below are some of my picks to depict this change.

The 1920s to the 50s, women were the portraying the "HOUSEWIFE" role.

http://www.ltcconline.net/lukas/gender/pages/roles.htm

 This ad is from the 1920s era. This is what the ad says "EDNA'S case was really a pathetic one. Like every woman, her primary ambition was to marry. Most of the girls of her set were married - or about to be. Yet not one possessed more grace or charm or loveliness than she. And as her birthdays crept gradually toward that tragic thirty-mark, marriage seemed farther from her life than ever. She was often a bridesmaid but never a bride". 

Can you take a guess at the product this ad is selling? I bet very few will get it right. This ad is for a mouth wash. This ad is trying to convey the impact a bad breath can have on your life - a woman may never get married which is the primary purpose of her existence! This ad is trying to convince women into buying the product by instilling fear and insecurities.

http://www.ltcconline.net/lukas/gender/pages/roles.htm

 An ad for birth control pills interestingly depicts things women "think" of - Roasting on Sunday, Laundry on Monday, Ironing on Tuesday etc. In short, a woman can remember her domestic chores but can't remember her "cycle days".

The 1950s to the 70s saw the era of women the - "worthless" 

This 1950s ad for a ketchup is demonstrating that the cap of the bottle is so easy to open that even women can open it. This is indirectly trying to conveying that women are so useless that they cannot open a bottle cap on their own. Whatever this ad fails to encapsulate, the following ad says all that and more.

"Gosh! This is such a news to me!!! Women and Useful?!?!" I bet this line was running in the mind of the ad maker.  

With time ads began recognizing women outside work yet their roles were restricted to limited jobs.

With more and more women joining the workforce led ad makers to portray women in a new light. They were increasingly occupying positions of power.The ad below exemplifies how ads depicted these changes.

http://cargocollective.com/tommynoonan/MOTOROLA

However interestingly ad makers would depict  women in power usually in suits. There is nothing feminine about the lady (in the Motorola ad) in terms of her attitude and feel. The look and feel is that of a man except that she is a lady . This picture almost drives the point that corporate women are not feminine or rather feminine cannot be in the corporate. But gradually we see a change in the attitude. 

http://themoderngrad.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/fashion-for-empowerment-jones-new-york-savvy-campaign-ads/

The picture above from Jone New York is definitely an indication of some progress. All the women have left their hair down and are going for firm but soft expressions. Yet this ad does bring in some interesting points. If you look closely, you will observe that women in power suits are standing ahead of the women in skirts. This still depicts the stereotypes elucidated by the Motorola picture above but it is just not that blatant.

However, the truth is women's position has evolved. They have emerged in the job market and how! They are the buyers and the decision makers. 

Nobody realized this better than De Beers. De Beers has always positioned diamonds as the eternal sign of marriage with their campaign "diamonds are forever" (just like your marriage is). 

However, in the 2000s things began to change - not only marriages were lasting less often but a lot of women did not feel the need to marry anymore. Therefore, out went the engagement ring. Women were independent - they could take care of themselves and did not need a man to buy them anything including diamonds. Tapping on this, De Beers launched a new campaign  - "women of the world, raise your right hand".

This ad appealed to all groups of women. It was the most successful pitch for women empowerment. The woman is shown alone but very feminine indicating that she is strong but pampers herself.   

Going forward advertisers and marketeers are recognizing women’s potential as not only   mother, daughter or wife but as an individual who are unique and glamorous and have their own shining moment. They need to be celebrated and are definitely “worth it”!

Not What But How

This was my speech for the Toastmaster's International Speech Contest at the Club level (at Mumbai Toastmasters). This was my attempt at inspirational speech.

Everybody has "Culture"

Every Valentine’s Day eve, one political party in Mumbai will go all over press saying “valentine’s day is not part of Indian culture”. In a similar vein, I have heard many Indians say “Americans have a very high divorce rate. They have no culture”. So what does that mean? What is culture then? Is it like a nest where desirable Indian values lay their eggs? I think I can tell you for sure that there is no term more abused in the whole world than the term “culture”. 

Culture is a concept that shapes our values, beliefs, norms, our attitudes and the way we perceive the world around us. The fact that most Indians think Americans have no culture because of their high divorce rate is a reflection of the Indian culture – divorce is still such a taboo in our society. 

In 2005, a very famous South India actress Khushboo found herself in middle of a controversy for her remarks while promoting AIDS awareness. She said it was fine to have pre-marital sex provided people take precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. She further added that no educated man should expect his wife or girlfriend to be virgin. Two political parties lashed out at her because of her remarks and she eventually withdrew her statement following a public apology. Interestingly, India is not the only society where pre-marital sex is a taboo. It is a taboo in 96 other cultures. But what is more surprising is that 160 societies across the globe actually find it acceptable! In fact a tribe in Thailand concedes to a girl marrying guy only if he can make her pregnant because they want to make sure that the guy is “fertile”.

On 15^th September 1893, the most eloquent speaker Swami Vivekananda narrated the frog in the well story. For those who are not familiar –a frog lived in a well. He had lived there all his life. To him the well was his life. One day a frog from the sea fell into the well.

The frog in the well asked “where do you come from?”

“From the sea”

“Sea! How big is the sea? As big as my well?”

The frog from the sea burst out laughing. “you can’t compare the sea to your well. sea is the biggest!”

On hearing this, the frog from the well kicked other frog and said “ you liar! Nothing can be bigger than my well. Get out!”

This behavior can be seen in human beings as well.  It is very natural for people to think of their culture as superior.  Therefore, they believe their way is the only way! Some people in India will be shocked to know that in certain beaches of Brazil the entire family – mother, father and children enjoy swimming in nude.

It is obvious that values and beliefs vary from culture to culture. What is acceptable in one culture might be considered downright gross or vulgar in another culture. The lack of appreciation of other’s culture actually leads to stereotypes.  A lot of people from the poor countries think the entire America and Europe is rich, although poverty and hunger exists in both US and in the Europe. Many Americans still believe that Africa is a dark continent!  Most of the stereotypes stem from ignorance and lack of exposure.

One has to appreciate that every element of culture serves a very important function unique to the group in question. Therefore a cultural element cannot be judged as right or wrong or good or bad in absolute terms. In western culture, incompatibility is enough reason to file for divorce, in several African cultures, this dilemma would lead the wife to look for another wife for husband. In India illegitimate children don’t get father’s name while in Nigeria, illegitimate kid is the father’s responsibility. Every culture has its own rationale.  In western countries divorce might be rationalized on grounds that it is better to raise kids in a separate environment than in an environment full of fights. In African cultures, it is believed that everyone is happy when the entire family stays together.  

Culture, by the way, is not a closed window. It is evolving continuously. What is not acceptable today might become acceptable tomorrow. Consider widow marriage. It was unthinkable 200 years back but today nobody will blink an eyelid hearing about it. Inter-caste or inter religion marriages are also quite common. And this is the strength of culture. It interacts with other cultures and evolves with time along with society.

Therefore, appreciate that everybody has a culture and try to meet people from different societies with a more open mind. You will be surprised how richer the experiences will be for you. Like Mark Twain had said “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”  

References:
Abraham, M. Francis, An Introduction to Concepts and Theories, Oxford University Press, 2006

Communication Gaffes

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

 [Source: http://www.best-funny-jokes.com/divorce-jokes-210]

The story above might be a slight exaggeration but it is not completely off. Today we have got plenty of means of communication, but what is really happening around us is a lot of “communication gap”.

There are various reasons for communication gaps.

Cultural difference for example is a big contributor. One day I was suppose to join in a call with the China team but I was running late. So the Chinese team asks my colleague in India “where is the call girl?”

Yes I am getting quite the reputation

But I am not the only victim of cultural faux pas. Multinationals have not been sparred either. When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the Spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." Yeah! Strange it didn’t take off very well. I would have gone for that!!

Forget communication between different cultures, communication in the same cultures is no exceptions. My dad moved back to Lagos in my 12th grade and because it’s an important academic year, my mum stayed back with me. I got a new French tutor and after a week or two, he asked me when does your dad come back from work? “He doesn’t stay with us” I said. “Oh! I’m sorry” said the tutor. It took me a minute to realize that he thought my parents were separated. Gosh!!

You would think Written communication would be easy especially thanks to Microsoft word but you are mistaken. When I just joined market research I was asked to write a recruitment questionnaire. We would interview only women with kids and if a woman did not have children we will terminate the interview.

To make sure that the interviewer doesn’t overlook and interview the wrong target audience, I drafted the questionnaire with special instruction in bold – if the consumer does not have children, terminate the respondent. Thankfully the interviewers ignored my instruction and did not go around killing people.

Yes I know what you are thinking. It’s best not to talk or write. Let’s just use sign language. But my dear friends there are no mercy in this world. At a restaurant in Brazil, a Brazilian family was sitting next to me. They had a small adorable baby boy with them. I looked at the baby and showed the ring sign pointing at the baby. To my surprise, the family looked extremely angry and they gave me a very dirty look. Later on when I narrated this incident to my Brazilian colleague, she laughed and told me that the sign means “gay” in Brazil. Who would have thought!

By now you probably have guessed that when it comes to communicating I have made a lot of blunders and I can now appreciate what George Bernard Shaw said once – “the single most problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place”.  However, I think these blunders are a wonderful way to immortalize yourself through all the future jokes that will be made at your expense. 

Playing Doctor, Doctor

Crocin, D’Cold, and Vicks Action 500, Benadryl.  I call these my “all problem solution”. These over the counter drugs require no prescription making purchase easy and self – medication easier. Do any of us stop and think how these medicines can ever go wrong? Rohit thought likewise. Rohit had a muscle tear and was on pain killers for the same.  While he was on this medicine, he realized he had cough and cold. He had some D’Cold total and had it to cure the cough and cold. He took it twice that day. In the night, he broke into a sweat. He just couldn’t breathe and then he started getting chest pain. He was taken to emergency room of the hospital. The doctor diagnosed his condition and said he had a paracetamol overdose and if he had taken D’Cold another time, he could have died of heart attack. A lot of us don’t know that pain killers have Paracetamol in them and while on it if you take Cronin or any cough syrup, the result could be fatal!

I remember that a lot of us would play “doctor, doctor” as kids. Unfortunately a lot of us still play this game as adults!

There are various reasons why a lot of us do self – medication, don’t follow the prescription to the T. Below are the most popular reasons for doing so:

It’s not a big deal: My calf muscle use to hurt a lot. It was quite frequent. I use to think maybe it’s just stress or maybe I am too tired. This went on for 6 months.  I use to keep spraying Ralispray on the calves.  Gradually, I saw that the pain was spreading to my back, neck and finally I realized it had spread to my ribs and collar bones. That was the day I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with Vitamin D3 deficiency. My level of Vitamin D3 was 8 and the range starts from 80! Had I gone much earlier, I could have not only saved myself from the agony but prevented it from hitting rock bottom. A vitamin deficiency on its own might not be a serious condition if treated on time but by self medicating and assuming the source of the problem, I aggravated the problem.  I was told try not to do activities like aerobic because of the extent which the deficiency had made my bones fragile, I just could not risk being injury prone.

I don’t want to get too dependent:  a friend of mine was diagnosed of ADD and she was asked to take medicine for the same. She continued with the dosage as prescribed but gradually got worried that she might get too dependent on it. She then started to reduce the dosage on her own and then stopped it completely. Nothing changed. She was fine both at her work and outside work. However, her sleep started getting disturbed and she started getting nightmares. She was feeling so paranoid that could not sleep anymore. Finally she told her doctor. When her doctor heard the story, she told my friend that this was happening because she abruptly discontinued her ADD medicines! ADD is a condition of a very active mind and her mind was just working up even in the night. She finally was treated accordingly and is not enjoying good night’s sleep.

I keep forgetting:  This is probably the most common reason why people don’t take their medicines – everybody keeps forgetting. One of my aunts was asked by the doctor to take a calcium medicine every day after breakfast. She is a banker and had a lot on her plate. She kept forgetting to take the medicine in the morning most of the days. However, before going to bed she would see the bottle at her bedside and take it before going to bed.  This continued for some time. One day my aunt came back from office half day due to excruciating pain in her stomach. Finally we took her to a doctor where we learnt that she has got kidney stone! The doctor asked her if she was on any medicine. She said none except a calcium pills. The doctor enquired about her water intake and at what time she would take the calcium medicine. My aunt said she took 1 litre of water and took the medicine before bed time. The doctor said that the very fact she took the Calcium medicine in the night could be one of the biggest reason for the kidney. Because there is no consumption of water at bedtime, this caused calcium deposition instead of absorption. The reason one is asked to have calcium in the daytime is to enable enough consumption of water throughout the day. Kidney stone is formed by calcium deposition and it happens to a lot of people who drink less water but in this case the condition got worsened because of the time my aunt took the calcium medicine.

Many of us don’t like visiting doctors and in most of the metros we know it’s not easy to get to see doctors at times. Switching medicines, stopping them abruptly and not going to doctors can accentuate, linger the problem much more than we desire. Most of us have taken medicines since we were born but that doesn’t mean we can practice medicine on ourselves. Be very careful about the dosage and of the duration you have been taking the medicine. Go to a doctor who has the time and with whom you are comfortable discussing your concerns. If you worried about dependency, speak to the doctor. If you are not confident about the medicine prescribed, take a second opinion but don’t play doctor!